Im a dad with 8 year old twin boys. The problem I've had besides having issues with family helping is on a more cognitive level with regards to my boys. One is dominant and the other is passive. But they weren't always that way.
Slowly I began to see both of them change, observing their mannerisms towards each other. Being a stay at home dad for 4 years, I couldn't help but pick up on a few noticeable things. I am at a loss of words when it comes to "pushing" my passive boy into experimenting with anything competitive. I can remember carrying wood from one end of the house to the other while they were just 2 years old. I gave them both a small peice of wood and I carried my share, led the way to the other side of the house and I looked back to see one of my boys (the dominant one) literally PASS the other as if he was racing. This phenomenon or act of dominance or whatever you want to call it, persists still today. My passive boy does not want to do ANYTHING! Everything my dominant boy does, he does extremely well. Possibly a trait of acceptance from me, I don't know but I don't encourage him to excel at everything he does, he just does! My other boy I am very concerned about. He doesn't try anything because he is clumsier than my other, he doesn't have the finer motor skills and because of that, he doesn't try. I KNOW what's going on, I understand it on a level that many parents or people don't. But even though I know what's going on, I cannot fix it. I've enrolled my passive boy in separate activities that only he is allowed to do so that he can "re-gain" the confidence I fear the other twin has taken away from him. Except, he's not excelling in these activities either. He has no competitive nature in him because the few times he has tried, he loses miserably. I have continued to instill in him the right attitude to "losing" in the the efforts never are in vain, to practice and practice and maybe he will get better, but he doesn't want to practice. My other boy (the dominant one), I kid you not, picks up and learns things so quickly, I can barely believe my eyes. What am I going to do with my other boy? I am extremely concerned about his over all confidence level, self esteem, etc.
Signed,
frustrated dad